Charlotte Ross Golden aka 'Gram' (1888-1965)

The Life of Charlotte R Golden

Early Life in Bayonne
Charlotte Ross Golden Hostetter Conklin — known simply and lovingly as “Gram” — was the kind of woman who made people feel safe the moment they stepped through her door. Born in Bayonne, New Jersey, on June 7, 1889, she was the eldest child of Edward Golden and Anna Tina McGill, and from the very beginning of her life, family seemed to gather around her naturally.

Marriage and the Growing Hostetter Household

She married Frederick Hostetter Jr. in Bayonne in the early years of the twentieth century, beginning a marriage that would produce a bustling household of daughters, grandchildren, relatives, neighbors, and seemingly anyone else who needed a warm meal or a place to land. Records spell the family name every which way imaginable — Hostetter, Hosteder, Hustedder, Hostetler — but through every census and city directory, one thing remained consistent: Charlotte was at the center of a very full house.

A Home That Welcomed Everyone

Together, Charlotte and Fred raised six daughters during years that were not always easy. Fred worked long hours for the railroad and related trades — trolley conductor, air brakeman, railroad inspector — while Charlotte managed a household that must have felt less like a single family and more like a constantly shifting village. Children, nieces, in-laws, boarders, widowed relatives, and struggling family members all seemed to pass through those doors at one time or another.

And if family stories are to be believed, nobody was ever turned away hungry.

Remembered for Kindness

Her grandson Frank Flynn remembered her in the simplest and perhaps most meaningful terms possible:
“She was just a NICE person. She was a nice person.” He recalled how, while serving in the Army, she somehow always knew when payday was still days away. A card with five dollars would arrive in the mail at exactly the right moment — never requested, simply sensed.

Extending Care Beyond Her Own Children

That generosity extended far beyond her own children. When her young niece Lorraine Golden lost her mother at only seven years old, Charlotte helped raise her as part of the family. Later records show that relatives from her second husband George Conklin’s side of the family also found room in the household. It became something of an unspoken family philosophy: there was always room for one more chair at the table.

“Always Room for One More”

Her daughter Mildred was remembered for saying, “Get a round table for the kitchen. That way there is always room for one more.” It is hard not to hear Gram’s influence in those words.

A Changing Household in the 1930s–1940s

By 1940, however, the census reveals a quieter and more complicated reality.

Living Apart Without Breaking Apart

Charlotte was living with members of the family on Pacific Avenue, working as a housekeeper through a government work project during the Depression years, while Fred appeared a few miles away in Jersey City, listed as “Married, Not Living with Wife,” boarding in another home.

It is tempting, from a modern distance, to turn separations into villains and victims. But perhaps the truth was less dramatic and far more human. By then, the Hostetter household had become a lively, crowded, deeply female world of daughters, grandchildren, sewing clubs, holiday gatherings, and relatives in need. One almost imagines poor Fred quietly searching for a little peace and elbow room after decades as the lone man standing in what must have felt like a permanent family reunion. There is no evidence of scandal, bitterness, or abandonment. In fact, records continued to describe him as married until his death in 1943. Perhaps, after thirty years of noise, responsibility, and more estrogen than one railroad inspector was ever trained to handle, he simply rented himself a little breathing space three miles away.

A Second Marriage and Later Years

Charlotte later married longtime family friend George Herbert Conklin in 1949, beginning a quieter later chapter of life. Yet even then, the household remained full of extended family and connections.

Holidays at Gram’s House

Still, what survives most vividly are not census records or addresses, but the memories of holidays at Gram’s house. Her daughter Marjorie described Christmas preparations beginning weeks in advance: washing windows, hanging garland, stenciling holiday designs on glass panes, stringing cranberries, decorating the perfect live tree, and baking mountains of cakes, pies, cookies, and pastries entirely from scratch. Christmas dinner itself was an operation worthy of military planning — roast beef, fresh ham, potatoes, vegetables, gravy, desserts, and enough food for twenty people eating in shifts across three tables while relatives continued arriving throughout the day.

Her Legacy of Belonging

That was Gram’s true legacy. Not wealth. Not prestige. Not even genealogy records.

She built belonging.

Everyone called her “Gram,” whether she was technically their grandmother or not. And decades after her passing in August 1965, that title still says more about her than any official record ever could. She was the woman who held the family together, fed whoever arrived at the door, mailed five dollars before anyone asked, and somehow made an overcrowded Jersey City house feel like home to generations of people.

Sources and records consulted

findagrave Memorial ID 8106296
FamilySearch ID LKC3-GJZ

According to LDS listing of New Jersey Births and Christenings, 1660-1980 Charlotte was born June 7,1888, but the given name is Lottie, not Charlotte! Her father was 23 years old, mother was 19.

1900 Federal Census June 7, 1900 • Avenue C Bayonne City, Hudson, New Jersey Anna Tina and husband Edward Golden,, a foreman at work, were living in Bayonne, NJ with their children: Edward, Herbert and Charlotte. All three children were born in New Jersey.

1905 NJ State Census records: Edward Golden 39 pipes; Anna Golden 35; Lottie Golden 16 sales lady; Edward Golden 11; Herbert Golden 7; Elmar Golden 2. New Jersey, State Census, 1905," FamilySearch index. 10 Jun 1905 • Hudson County, New Jersey

1910 Federal Census
April 20, 1910 • 259 Lembeck Ave, Jersey City Ward 7, Hudson, New Jersey Frederick Hosteder 53 yr foundation masoner & wiife Frances 62 yrs, both born Switzerland 1st marriage for both; Federick Hosteder Jr 21 yr trollycar conductor, wife Charlotte Hosteder 20 yrs; dau Anna Hosteder 8/12. house built 1901

1915 NJ state census

June 8 1915 • Jersey City, Hudson, New Jersey, USA (226 Linden Ave) records all birthdates in full. Fred Haustetter a conductor; Charlet his wife; Anna, Charlet and Mildred (2 months old); as well as Edward Golden, b April 1894, occupation Dyrer (possibly drayer? Or Driver? Don’t worry about it.)

1920 Federal Census
Jan 10, 1920 • Jersey City Ward 7, Hudson, New Jersey Frederick Hustedder 31 occupation rail road inspector, Charlotte Hustedder30, Anna Hustedder 10, Charlotte Hustedder 7, Mildred Hustedder 4, Gertrude Hustedder3, Mertle Hustedder 3/12, Edward Golden 25 Bro-in-law

Newspaper Mention: Joined Sewing Club

Mar 03, 1928 • Jersey City, Hudson, New Jersey Saturday, Mar 03, 1928, Jersey Journal mention of Lotte, Anna and Charlotte Hostetter joining with a “Radio-Sewing Club.”

1930 Federal Census

April 17,1930 • 103 Ocean Avenue, Jersey City, Hudson, New Jersey Fredrick Hostetler 42" air brakeman, Pennsylvania RR, Charlotte Hostetler 40, Anna Hostetler 20, Charlotte Hostetler 17 "a plater at General Electric", Mildred Hostetler 15, Gertrude Hostetler 13, Myrtle Hostetler 10, Marjorie Hostetler 7

r 12, 1940 • 434 Pacific Ave., Jersey City, Hudson, New Jersey

1940 Federal Census
Apr 12, 1940 • 434 Pacific Ave., Jersey City, Hudson, New Jersey Charlotte Golden Hostetter upstairs at this address. Flynn family downstairs. Charlotte is head of family, married, working as domestic/housekeep project, "GW" Goverment Work probably WPA job. Husband is not present here. Daughter Charlotte is found living nextdoor.

Husband Fred was recorded 2 days earlier (Apr 10, 1940 ) in the 1940 census living at (60 Ocean Avenue) Jersey City, Hudson, New Jersey.

He is recorded as Married but Not Living with Wife. Also was at same home in 1935. Living as a roomer here, 3 miles away. Occupation Railroad car inspector. Code: Inspectors/Railroads/Wage or salary worker/private work

Death of her husband Frederick Hostetter * (1888–1943)

18 Feb 1943 • Bayonne, Hudson, New Jersey, USA

Second Wedding, source NJ Marriage Index.

Aug 1949 • Jersey City, Hudson, New Jersey, USA

George Herbert Conklin (1887–1963), long time friend of the family.

1950 Federal Census

Apr 11, 1950 • Jersey City, Hudson, New Jersey

(253 Bartholdi Ave) George Conklin,63, born NY, foreman making oleomargarine; Charlotte, wife 56, b NJ, kitchen helper city hospital; Marjorie Hostetter, step-daughter, 26, packer / dairy products; Lorraine Golden niece, 11; Edna Travers niece of George +child

Death

Aug 31 1965 • St. Peters General Hospital New Brunswick, Middlesex, New Jersey
Social Security Death Index: State of Issue: New Jersey Date of Birth: Friday June 07, 1889 Date of Death: August 1965 Est. Age at Death: 76 years, 2 months Last known residence: 80 Southwood Dr, Old Bridge, Middlesex Co., NJ.

Death (Alternative)

30 August 1965 • New Brunswick, Middlesex, New Jersey

Aunt Margie notes say she died at age 76 in St Peters Hospital, New Brunswick, NJ "did not have enough blood to keep her heart pumping."

Burial

Jersey City, Hudson County, New Jersey, USA

West Edgewood section of Bayview-New York Bay Cemetery.