The Life He Left Behind - An Irish Ballad of John Francis Hanley from the Applegate / Flynn branches of the tree.
John Francis Hanley
Born 1860 • Tipperary, Ireland
Died Oct 13, 1900 • City Hospital, Jersey City, Hudson, NJ
Son of Michael and Hanora "Anny" Kelly Hanley.
Brother of William, Michael,jr., and Patrick Hanley.
First marriage was to Margaret Elizabeth McManus abt 1881 • St. Bridget's Church, Jersey City, NJ
According to family lore they were married as teens at St Bridget's Church, 370 Montgomery Street, JC, NJ.
John and Margaret enjoyed the blessing of three healthy children John F Hanley, junior; Catharine M Hanley Kelly; and Honora "Nora" Baker Madden.Second marriage was to Mary Draper Oct 30, 1889 • Saint Patrick Catholic Church, Jersey City, Hudson, NJ
They celebrated the births of two girls Mary Emma and Frances Hanley, and mourned their deaths in infancy.Third marriage was to Mary Mulligan 09 Jun 1897 • St. Patrick's Church Jersey City, Hudson, New Jersey
Where Love Once Lived -
the story of John & Margaret
Two Young Hearts in a New World
John Francis Hanley and Margaret Elizabeth McManus were young Irish immigrants when they fell in love in Jersey City, New Jersey.
Their families had come to America in search of a better life. In a crowded city filled with other immigrant families, John and Margaret found each other.
Around 1881, they married at St. Bridget's Catholic Church, just a short walk from Margaret's family home.
They were young, in love, and beginning a life together.
The Life They Built Together
John worked as a driver and later as a motorman on the city's streetcars. He traveled the busy streets of Jersey City, earning a living for his growing family. One small reminder of those days survives even now: the whistle he used while working his route, treasured by a descendant.
Three children came along: John Jr., Catherine, and little Honora.
They had a home, a family, and a future they could look forward to.
When Love Was Taken Too Soon
But in January 1889, Margaret died of tuberculosis. She was still in her twenties, and her youngest child was barely three years old.
John had lost the girl he had loved since they were teenagers. His children had lost their mother.
Before the year was over, John married again.
His second wife, Mary Draper, joined a family still recovering from Margaret's death. Together they welcomed two daughters, Mary Emma and Frances, but neither child survived infancy.
Then, in September 1894, Mary also died of tuberculosis.
John had now buried two wives and two little girls at Holy Name Cemetery.
And the family that had once filled his home was beginning to scatter.
A Family Torn Apart
His youngest surviving daughter, Honora, was placed in a church-affiliated orphanage. Catherine, still a young girl herself, went to work.
Catherine had a purpose. She saved what money she could, hoping to bring her little sister out of the orphanage, find a home, and care for her herself.
While their father struggled with the losses of his past, his daughters were trying to find a way back to each other.
A Third Marriage, an Unhappy Home
In 1897, John married for a third time.
His new wife, Mary Mulligan, was a widow with children of her own. She had operated a saloon with her first husband, and after marrying John, the couple ran a saloon on Jordan Avenue.
John left behind his work as a motorman and became a saloon keeper.
It was a very different life from the one he had known with Margaret.
His new household included his wife's grown sons, and the marriage was troubled. There were frequent quarrels involving the children, and relations between John's daughter and his new stepfamily were particularly bitter.
There was room in this household for his wife's sons. Yet his own youngest daughter had been placed in an orphanage, while Catherine worked and saved to reunite what remained of her family.
Whether this painful contrast contributed to the arguments, we cannot know.
But whatever John had hoped to find in his third marriage, happiness seemed to have escaped him.
One Last Journey to Holy Name
On the night of October 12, 1900, John left the saloon and the home he shared with his wife.
He did not return.
Early the following morning, he appeared near the entrance to Holy Name Cemetery in Jersey City. Witnesses described him as having been drinking and talking to himself.
He walked into the cemetery, where Margaret and Mary were buried.
He found a place among the graves of his first two wives and sat down.
There, John took his own life by swallowing poison.
He was found unconscious and rushed to the city hospital, where he died a few hours later.
He was forty years old.
The newspapers were quick to report the troubles of his final marriage. His widow complained about his drinking and accused him of taking money from their home before disappearing.
But there were other things to report.
John's widow refused to allow his body to be returned to their home for the wake. Instead, an undertaker prepared his remains and received those who came to pay their respects.
Many friends, including women and children, gathered to see him one last time.
His widow was not among them.
And while John's family and friends mourned, the saloon he had operated with his third wife was already open for business again.
Separated, Even in Death
Even his final resting place would separate him from those he had loved.
John had purchased a family burial plot in Holy Name Cemetery, where Margaret and other loved ones were laid to rest. But because his death was a suicide, he was denied burial in that family grave.
Instead, he was buried in a pauper's plot outside the cemetery grounds.
He had gone to the cemetery seeking the resting place of the women who had shared his earlier life, only to be kept apart from them in death.
We will never know everything that passed through John's mind that October morning.
Perhaps he remembered Margaret as the young Irish girl he had married nearly twenty years before. Perhaps he thought of Mary, who had helped him raise his children and had shared the grief of losing two babies.
Perhaps he thought of his surviving children, whose lives had been so changed by the deaths of their mothers.
All we know is that when John reached the end of what he could bear, he returned to the place where his first two wives rested.
He could not go back to the life he had loved. But in the end, he went back to where he had left it.
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